Holy Bitch Diary: September 17th, 2023

📖September 17, 2023

🦈For today, I’ve got another utterly amazing story about a stinky opossum and Pirogovka hospital in Samara. It is clear, as long as I have to coexist with this bastard at the moment, there are a lot of such stories.

What is worth just one episode, when a stinky motivated to finish me off quickly, filled my sofa and all my things and documents with such a dose of mustard gas that it's not that my dogs almost rotted and my kidneys almost fell out in my underpants, it was just children’s party. I’ve got inflated 6 batteries in 5 phones and an iPad, of which 3 phones were baby born of 4 months old and one was a kid one year old. In order to simultaneously inflate and break batteries in 6 phones and devices aged from 4 months to 13 years - for this there must be some onetime external technical reason. Since there were no other external influences in relation to the devices, and only one thing united them - lying in my belongings and on the couch, and all the batteries were swollen like an over-eaten Uzbek pedophile while I was nobly studying the protocols of the Nuremberg process in the library. So the conclusion is simple - the chemistry of the mustard gas that eats everything, including the chemical protection suit, reacted with the contents of lithium batteries, and friendship won - mustard killed the filling of the batteries as a result of which they swelled, but fortunately for me, the reaction did not lead to an explosion. 6 devices that exploded simultaneously in my absence (or presence), one of which was an iPad, and lying on the sofa soaked with mustard gas next to my dogs, in our kitchen where, as it turned out next (I’ve said I have a new story about stinky every day), there was also a gas heater with a hole, and the gas was flowing just into the kitchen, would have led to an "an accident" so beloved by criminals - an explosion of household gas, a fire, and a live barbecue not only from me and my dogs, but also from all our neighbors at the entrance of house 1 of house 16 on Maslennikov Avenue in Samara. I hope that the police officers from the police department of the Oktyabrsky district of the city of Samara will be put a dick in the ass of such a size that it gets to the back of the head. Perhaps this will stimulate the brain a little and it will have a long-forgotten ability to think.

However, there is too much stinky in my daily life, so today I don't want to write about it, and I'll save this absofckybloodyvibrant story for tomorrow. Today I wanna tell you a little bit about his employers.

There was a period in my life when I was a hired employee. Last years in this role, I have worked at AFK Sistema. This amazing institution in every sense has not added to me any advantages in my career, experience or knowledge, but it has been drinking blood for me for many years, including in the literal sense of the word. AFK System is a kontora Nikonora (bogus office) that conducts 100% criminal business, while managing to:

• be listed on LSE (here I always remember the harsh visa requirements and the special pathos of the entrance on the border control of the "United Kingdom")

• have audited reports on US GAAP certified by Deloitte (here I want to laugh from the heart remembering the project to clear the loan portfolio of MTS-Bank and the pilot on Smartlinks in MTS itself)

• lead in all kinds of ratings including transparency, corporate governance, corporate social responsibility (here I want to cry with emotion, remembering my house flooded with shit and mustard gas, switched off electricity and disconnected from all communications during the last 6 years, whilst they continue to issue electricity bills and win in the court the “litigations” in a simplified procedure)

• lead the Employers’ rating (here I just laugh in my voice remembering how Elena Leonidovna Vitchak, Mikhail Valeryevich Shamolin, Ali Mussaevich Uzdenov, under the threat of illegal criminal prosecution against me, forced me to sign a dismissal agreement, withdrawing my earlier application for resignation at my own request).

• lead the Forbes rating (child of general Vlasov was blessed by God and has got as a gift from the sky several billion dollars - brothers Grimm suck).

In short, this garbage with its sparkling practices of conducting criminal activities under the guise of legal business (actually for this AFK Systema was needed in such insane quantities hundreds of useless formal procedures and regulations, including even procedures for compliance with the UK Antibribery Act) taught me one single thing: "to close porucheniya." In AFK Sistema, so that no one can see its essence and the main business itself - a completely criminal office used as an

assets’ consolidator in Russia according to the Ost plan, and through which they took out the cash for the maintenance of the "system" itself - its own replica of the Russia’s public administration model consisting of thousands of acroomed biased officials in the civil service and receiving a bonus from the Systema for loyalty and performance of the tasks necessary to the Systema (actually this is the system that was administered by AFK Systema - it is the reason for this idiotic name, one double of VVP in the form of Yevtushenkov Sr., the head of the Systema), so Systema created a system of "charges” - to pay off the salary to the corruptioners under the coverage, at the same time to create the image of a serious office and formal compliance with the law. Nobody asked, how the dick can play role of head. Probably either out of stupidity or out of politeness.

The work of the System consisted of the following:

• Implementation of hundreds of useless stupid regulations and orders

• Mouse fuss about how best to furnish the "deal" - transferring different assets from pocket to pocket between the System, Alpha, VTB, and Sber, which form one corporate group

• Tough raiding on the selection of someone else's property. The 90s compared to Magnitsky, Chichvarkin's mother, Bobylev, and actually with me it's just a children's matinee: the lethality of real and nominal business owners liked by the Systema was cooler than that of the Roman emperors (62%), and smoothly approached the Russian and Lithuanian princes (100%) from Rurikids and Gediminid.

Administration of the "Systema" is a double of the public administration model of fed civil service employees, on the balance sheet of the Systema. I haven't seen it myself, but knowledgeable people say that out of three people in any room at the police office, one will be "on the balance" of the Systema. Personally, I have seen the signatures with which these systema’s people sign documents: in any police department, a person with any name and title will be signed in the same way, stylized with the letter "Alpha." I have a nice set in my archive: OMVD Istra, Krasnoselskoye, Shchukino, Danilovsky, different policemen, a run of dates of 7 years, and one alfa-signature.

To prevent this shit from being noticeable (the real essence of operations), hundreds of committees, commissions, subcommittees, and other fictitious bodies of collegial irresponsibility functioned in the Systema. 90% of the issues considered by them were concerned the implementation of regulations, and compliance with formal procedures. Behind a cloud of small shit in the form of several thousand tasks such as "issue an order," "approve the regulations" it is difficult to see what is wrong with the office in which orders are issued to issue an order to issue an order to issue an order. In short, after my employment, several hundred “poruchenia" (Rus.: management direction) fell on me from a series of implementation of regulations on regulations and approval of orders on orders, and "confidential instructions" of Petrovich.

The orders were absolutely mind blowing, affecting the healthy brain like their mustard gas damaged the batteries of my devices:

- Talk to me (proshu peregovrit(

- Prepare an answer (otvet)

- What is it? (Chto eto?)

- What is it about? (O chyom eto?)

And so on.

And it was actually about the following. Stupid rabbits sincerely considering the system as a legal transparent honest business, like a good wizard who has nowhere to put money except to give another asshole-startuper, dragged all their shit into the system: poems about pony-caramelka, proposals for the production of rabbit milk, laying a water supply system with drinking water from Baikal to Beijing directly to the WooHaHa plants, and also original design ideas for the production of pickles under the Petrovich brand with the MTS logo on the lid. Since the systema was supposed to imitate politeness and legality, it was impossible to say fck off all the schizophrenists who carried this shit, it was necessary to answer politely. To answer politely means to prepare a reasoned refusal, or to request additional material if there are flashes of reason from the author of the proposals. I, a person with three diplomas at that time, including the University of Oxford (where I was accepted, by the way, exempting me from the entrance exams), and with three American certifications, was engaged in the preparation of answers to this shit. And at the same time, "transfer of poruchenia": there was no uncontrolled shit in the Systema. In any gangster office, all incoming calls are tracked very carefully so as not to miss the Trojan at the entrance. For each letter about milking rabbits into the water supply to Baikonur, an order was issued (such as "pr. peregovorit" or "otvet"), and not to fulfill it meant to get a drag at the general meeting, to personally get a cunt from Petrovich, and also to get a cash fine. But there was one way to avoid shame - to postpone the impossible order to the date when it dissolves itself. Or "take it out of control" justifying why it should not be carried out at all. So in addition to studying the rabbit milk market, the specifics of processing shit into butter, calculating ROE when investing in a pony-caramelka suit for Detsky Mir stores, and finding out why Chuykin, who flew to America at the expense of an office with his seemingly not quite an adult mistress, it was necessary to write letters answering instructions: close and transfer poruchenia.

Of all the orders issued, 99% of them in principle could not be executed, or executed within the specified period and in the manner specified in the text of the order. Obviously, the level of frustration, when it is necessary to deal with what by definition cannot be fulfilled with the creation of any value, is very high. And I found a way to disconnect - to rent myself to brainwashers for a working day, and spend the rest of my time on what I need. Since the internal activities of the Systema were initially unprecedentedly destructive, I spent time outside the office restoring my intellectual and physical resource. From here appeared the study of 5 foreign languages in parallel, a certificate of an instructor in alpine skiing, a driver's license for category A, karate kyokushinkai, Russian billiards, and much more.

What is the actual morality of this fable?

And it is that the phrase "you want to make God laugh, tell us about your plans" works only in relation to AFK Systema. Moreover, this kontora Nikonora manages to send everything around in the literal sense, including its chronic non-performance. You just need to open the window a little to let someone from the Systema inside, who demonstrates friendliness and sincerely waving his tail behind the closed window, and also pushes on childhood memories - and you're fucked. Everyone is bought for childhood memories, as in Bykov's story “Mozharovo.”

In a duel with the system, you need to have the first 2 skills that are existentially critical: autonomy of thinking and critical thinking. Otherwise, on childhood memories, passing through Mozharovo, you can open a window in the car that goes on the train to a bright future. Shana tova, bitches.

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