The strongest love is love for the Motherland. Today I bequeathed all my property, no matter what it is, and wherever it is, in favor of the state of the Russian Federation. I have no direct heirs who are biologically related to me, so I also left instructions in case I, like my ancestors, lined up with children born as a result of the immaculate conception, nephews from my brothers who never existed, several couples "parents" who adopted me and adopted me immediately after the eleventh birth, and other genetic and documentary mutants. Thus, all that remains for me is to wish the apostle Peter that they stock up on popcorn and Diet Coke for my arrival. I guess I'm in for a spectacle of freak circus mutants, in a competition for the funniest genetic test and the most implausible biography. I hope that I did the right thing, in accordance with the traditions and principles of my family, whose pedigree I have the great honor to relate to.
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